I am a diligent, analytical and dependable person with a strong desire to learn and excel. From the experiences I have gained through co-curricular activities during my University years, I have learnt to be a team player and have developed leadership qualities. These activities have instilled in me a keen sense of team spirit and the desire to learn new things.
Playing handball for two years, I have leant to be a team player and how to work well with other people. We train hard and share experiences to improve our skills. Finally we won consecutive gold in the inter-hall handball competition. I always have an open heart and willing to try new things. During the freshman orientation, I was inspired by the amazing dancers. I decided to join dance club even I have no background. With days’ practices, I perform twice for the concerts on NUS Art Festival in two years. I also have developed leadership qualities as being the head of the block committee. I have organized two events throughout that year, which have received good response.
About Me
- hanbin
- Singapore
- I'm Hanbin, science year 3, major in Applied Mathematics, now living in Raffles Hall. This blog is for my module ES2007s.
6 comments:
Hi Hanbin,
Your biodata is interesing, but I think it's too long and not concise enough.
In the first paragraph, perhaps you can give some examples such as you have developed leadership qualities by being a block head in your hall.
The second paragraph is a bit lengthy. Perhaps you can cut down on some unnecessary details such as "inspired by the amazing dancers". And also you have mentioned about your leadership qualities twice in different paragraphs. I think you can combine those sentences to make it more concise and organized.
Yes I agree with Regina, your biodata is interesting. But it is a bit long.You have mentioned all about your school life and the experiences that you gained . It would be better if you could mention about your background like the place you were born, your home town and the environment that you used to live before your university life.
Hi Han Bin.
I think that your starting paragraph in your biodata is well written. It makes me want to continue reading.
The points are well- developed given the word constraint. Generally, I have a good impression of you after reading your biodata.
Hi Regina,
I am agree with you that it is a bit lengthy. But it is a bit hard for me to cut some unnecessary details, maybe I need to rewrite the whole thing. The second garagraph is a further explanation of the first one. So it mentions leadship in paragraph one, and talks the details in two.
Hi Hanbin, as Nang and Regina have pointed out, your post is beyond the 100-word limit; you do need to be more concise. As you yourself have admitted, the second paragraph is an elaboration of the points in your first paragraph. However, considering that you have a word limit and that this is a biodata, you do not need to elaborate; you simply need to give us important and interesting information about yourself.
Anyway, thanks for the effort!
Post a Comment